Forgive but do not forget, or you will be hurt again.
Forgiving changes the perspectives. Forgetting loses the lesson.
– Paulo Coelho
Dr. Gerald Jampolsky is the psychiatrist who founded The Center for Attitudinal Healing. There are now 130 centers worldwide. In addition, Dr. Jampolsky has written several gorgeous books about love and healing, including Forgiveness, The Greatest Healer of All. He has said, “Forgiveness means letting go of the past.”Sometimes, history should be held onto. Psych Central reminds that to forgive and NOT forget means the remembrance of mistreatment and injury can prevent “being a victim of the same offense again.” As George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
Keep in mind, five to ten per cent of the population or one in twenty people have these traits:
- Shallow Charm
- Contrived Reactions
- Pathological Lying
- No Guilt
- Secretly backstab and betray
- Create animosity [breaking up friends and families]
These six descriptions are from How to Spot a Sociopath. Also worth a read is, “9 Ways to Identify that Sociopath, Psychopath, or Narcissist in your life.” The thousands of people in this country with these anti-social personality disorders will also play “mind games” to control friends, family members, co-workers, and even strangers.
Know that there are people in all professions and walks of life who find satisfaction in hurting others. In deciding whether ‘Forgive and Forget’ is always a good idea, consider Ishmael Beah’s words,
A lot of people, when they say forgive and forget, they think you completely wash your brain out and forget everything. That is not the concept. What I think is you forgive and you forget so you can transform your experiences, not necessarily forget them but transform them, so that they don’t haunt you or handicap you or kill you.
Remember, after wounds heal, there are reasons scars remain.
Also believe Nicolas Cage’s words about the heroic rescue attempts after the World Trade Centers collapsed:
Angels exist in people.
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