Soul Words: Conditional Love
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. –Buddha This year, Succeed and Soar explores eight, enlightening words. The first was Traumatic Wisdom, when hurtful experiences can elevate and enrich.This post considers, Conditional Love. Of it, Donald Miller said, “No love is conditional. If love is conditional, it’s just some sort of manipulation masquerading as love.” Conditional Love has strings attached. It can exist between friends and within families. WildSimpleJoy says that in these situations, the ‘loved one:’ Rarely feels good enough Is adored in public but not in private Read more If wondering whether a relationship involves Conditional Love, ask: If the ‘loved one’ lost their job, would you stay with them? Would they stay with you? Do you [or they] take more than is given? More questions To avoid being a Conditional lover: Use conflict as a learning experience [rather than to control] Practice non-judgment Learn the other’s love language. Nine more methods As Romantific says, “conditional love is not much better than unconditional love. Usually, with unconditional love, you were iin love in the beginning and now are able to accept the flaws of another person. With conditional love, true love was never there because you were only in the relationship because you wanted to “get something” out of it (more money, a higher social status, etc.). Here’s more With spring approaching, romance in the air and the world brightening, think of Kim McMillen’s words. “When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs, and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” Remember Courtney A. Walsh’s invitation, Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s Plenty. Courtney Walsh’s book Dear Human: A Manifesto of Love and Invocation to Humanity is currently out of print. Copies can be found at alibris, biblio and abebooks. Here are Five powerful ways to love yourself more Succeed and Soar! The Wisdoms Collection Shop Enriching and Beautiful Posters Click Here to Visit
Soul Words: Traumatic Wisdom
The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect. – Peter A Levine Throughout 2022, Succeed and Soar will offer eight posts. Each names a heart and mind, a soul and spirit condition. Some concepts are new to me. With some, I seek better understanding. This first “Soul Song” examines Wisdom of Trauma, the positive adaptation to psychological pain and turning those wounds into wisdom. Resilience. I’d never heard Wisdom of Trauma and decided to research and present a little information right before February 2nd. In the United states, that date is called Groundhog Day. In other cultures, the moments between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox are called Candlemas, a Catholic ritual of purification, and Imbolc from ancient Britain, a celebration of ‘the washing of the earth’s face.’ Winter’s frigid barrenness can represent loss, disappointment and grief. During such periods, spring’s lush green, budding trees and flower-scented warmth can seem like memories from another life. Six weeks after the darkest day of the year seems a good time to consider what Dr. Bruce Perry calls,” the experience where you’ve been able to get through adversity, and … take what you’ve learned and use that to see the world differently. You use your pain and transform it into power and help other people. I think of the most transformative people I’ve ever known. Every single one of them had personal pain and traumatic experience that was a core element of who they became.” See more. Just as at Candlemas and Imbolc, a time when lambs are born and roots are developing from seeds fallen beneath snow and ice, some cultures address troubles in healing ways. The Japanese prepare for spring with mamemaki where they prepare lucky beans and throw them at people costumed as demons. Here’s a water ritual for grief and trauma from the Wicca tradition. Competent medical counseling is an important way to turn trauma into grace and empowerment. I hope these insights have been helpful. I’m definitely glad to know about ‘Traumatic Wisdom’ and that it means: … redirecting your pain towards something constructive, preferably something that affects the lives of others in a positive way. It can enable you to search and find true positive meaning in your life. As well as ultimately become better versions of yourself. Source Dr. Gabor Maté Quotes: Can we be human beings in the midst of civilization? Because what we call civilization demands the denial of human needs. Every human being has a true, genuine, authentic self. And the trauma is the disconnection from it and the healing is the reconnection with it. Why do we get disconnected? Because it’s too painful to be ourselves. Trauma is not the bad things that happen to you. But what happens inside you as a result a result of what happens to you. — In my opinion, people who develop cancer have a hard time expressing healthy anger. I just want people to see the truth. Solutions are right there if people, when they concern themselves with the truth, when they are not afraid of the truth. Succeed and Soar! Shop Succeed & Soar Galleries Buy art framed, on canvas, as posters as well as puzzles, shirts, infant onesies, phone cases, ornaments, journals, blankets, caps, coffee mugs and more. Each item is individually created. Shop All Collections HERE.