–Buddha
This year, Succeed and Soar explores eight, enlightening words. The first was Traumatic Wisdom, when hurtful experiences can elevate and enrich.This post considers, Conditional Love. Of it, Donald Miller said, “No love is conditional. If love is conditional, it’s just some sort of manipulation masquerading as love.” Conditional Love has strings attached. It can exist between friends and within families. WildSimpleJoy says that in these situations, the ‘loved one:’
- Rarely feels good enough
- Is adored in public but not in private
- Read more
If wondering whether a relationship involves Conditional Love, ask:
- If the ‘loved one’ lost their job, would you stay with them? Would they stay with you?
- Do you [or they] take more than is given?
- More questions
To avoid being a Conditional lover:
- Use conflict as a learning experience [rather than to control]
- Practice non-judgment
- Learn the other’s love language.
- Nine more methods
As Romantific says, “conditional love is not much better than unconditional love. Usually, with unconditional love, you were iin love in the beginning and now are able to accept the flaws of another person. With conditional love, true love was never there because you were only in the relationship because you wanted to “get something” out of it (more money, a higher social status, etc.). Here’s more
With spring approaching, romance in the air and the world brightening, think of Kim McMillen’s words. “When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs, and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”
Remember Courtney A. Walsh’s invitation,
Dear Human:
You’ve got it all wrong.
You didn’t come here to master unconditional love.
That is where you came from and where you’ll return.
You came here to learn personal love.
Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love.
Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love.
Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling.
Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often.
You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are.
You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous.
And then to rise again into remembering.
But unconditional love? Stop telling that story.
Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives.
It doesn’t require modifiers.
It doesn’t require the condition of perfection.
It only asks that you show up. And do your best.
That you stay present and feel fully.
That you shine and fly and laugh and cry
and hurt and heal and fall and get back up
and play and work and live and die as YOU.
It’s enough.
It’s Plenty.
Courtney Walsh’s book Dear Human: A Manifesto of Love and Invocation to Humanity is currently out of print. Copies can be found at alibris, biblio and abebooks.
Here are Five powerful ways to love yourself more
Succeed and Soar!
