Meditations on Grudges

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
Laugh. Apologize. Let go of what you can’t change.

–ย  George Carlin

Around the world, cultures observe the passage from October to November as Halloween, Samhain, the Day of the Dead, All Saints Day andย other celebrationsย of unseen energies. ย These days also prepare for the holiday season and all that can be left behind in the new year.

Grudgeย comes from the now dead Middle English word “grutch,” which meant “to complain or grumble.”ย Vocabularyย adds this bit of humor, โ€œYou know Grandpa’s been holding a grudge against the neighbors for years, but you have to wonder: How long can he hold that shotgun?โ€

In โ€œWhy We Hold Grudges, and How to Let Them Go,โ€ย Psychology Today, reminds, โ€œIt’s not about the person who wronged you. It’s about who you want to be.โ€

In โ€œThe Mental Health Effects of Holding a Grudge,โ€ย Very Well Mind reported, โ€œHolding a grudge is when you harbor anger, bitterness, resentment, or other negative feelings long after someone has done something to hurt you.โ€ The article mentions how the social life can suffer and lists grudge-holding physical problems, like,

  • Cardiovascular
  • Digestion
  • Reproduction
  • Sleep
  • The immune system

To release grudges,

  • Recognize resentments
  • Understand why theyโ€™re being held
  • See the situation from the other personโ€™s point of view
  • Insist on becoming bigger and better than the situation
  • Stop judging, especially yourself
  • Read More

In the meantime, take theย Grudges That Became Great Feudsย quiz below. And

Succeed and Soar!

Why hold a grudge?
Click here to view.ย  [5 minutes]


Grudges That Became Great Feudsย 

Match families to their issues. Answers below.

Brooks-McFarlandFrom 1865 to 1869 in Bell County, Texas, caused by lingering, Civil War resentments.
Early-HasleyA West Virginia flare-up that lasted 30 years. Began because families chose different sides in the Civil War and/or the belief that a hog had been stolen.
Earp-ClantonFour Corners, Texas from 1867 to 1871, provoked when a Confederate soldierย  came home and found it occupied by the โ€œUnion League,โ€ย  which was protecting blacks and Union sympathizers.
Hatfield-McCoyThis feud eventually involved the Texas Rangers, Texas State Police. It killing began March 25, 1868 during an arrest for horse theft and ended by January, 1877.
Horrell-HigginsIn northwest Louisiana’s Claiborne Parish in the early 1890s, at least a dozen dead by gunfire. Most from ambush.
Lee-PeacockLampasas County, Texas, 1873. Began during attempted arrest of men carrying firearms [recently outlawed by state governor].
Lincoln County FeudFrom 1878 to 1890. Began as a vendetta between two, prominent West Virginia families that became a bitter war between local timber barons and businessmen
Ramsey-TuggleBegan with the historic Gunfight at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, October 26, 1881. At that time, Arizona was a U.S. Territory and folks had to check their guns upon entering town.
Reese-TownsendBetween 1896 and 1902, in theย Creek Nationย of the oldย Indian Territoryย (nowย Oklahoma). It began with a botched holdup which was to originally include members of the other family.
Sutton-TaylorAlso called theย Colorado County Feud, it ran from 1898 to 1907 and was caused by dissatisfaction with results from a local political race

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Quiz Answers

Early-HasleyFrom 1865 to 1869 in Bell County, Texas, caused by lingering, Civil War resentments.
Hatfield-McCoyA West Virginia flare-up that lasted 30 years. Began because families chose different sides in the Civil War and/or the belief that a hog had been stolen.
Lee-PeacockFour Corners, Texas from 1867 to 1871, provoked when a Confederate soldierย  came home and found it occupied by the โ€œUnion League,โ€ย  which was protecting blacks and Union sympathizers.
Sutton-TaylorThis feud eventually involved the Texas Rangers, Texas State Police. It killing began March 25, 1868 during an arrest for horse theft and ended by January, 1877.
Ramsey-TuggleIn northwest Louisiana’s Claiborne Parish in the early 1890s, at least a dozen dead by gunfire. Most from ambush.
Horrell-HigginsLampasas County, Texas, 1873. Began during attempted arrest of men carrying firearms [recently outlawed by state governor].
Lincoln County FeudFrom 1878 to 1890. Began as a vendetta between two, prominent West Virginia families that became a bitter war between local timber barons and businessmen
Earp-ClantonBegan with the historic Gunfight at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, October 26, 1881. At that time, Arizona was a U.S. Territory and folks had to check their guns upon entering town.
Brooks-McFarlandBetween 1896 and 1902, in theย Creek Nationย of the oldย Indian Territoryย (nowย Oklahoma). It began with a botched holdup which was to originally include members of the other family.
Reese-TownsendAlso called theย Colorado County Feud, it ran from 1898 to 1907 and was caused by dissatisfaction with results from a local political race

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Sandra Gould Ford

Sandra Gould Ford is an author, educator and former steelworker who presents arts experiences to encourage, refresh, enrich creative thinking and inspire. She belongs to the Authorโ€™s Guild and Science Fiction Writers of America and is a former member of the American Society of Media Photographers. For more information, visit her web site: SandraGouldFord.com.

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