— Eleanor Roosevelt
M. Scott Peck’s book The Road Less Traveled, opens with, “Life is difficult.” Until then, I thought life was supposed to be pleasant, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Peck, a psychiatrist, further wrote, “Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it … the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” Ideally. Maybe.
Mrs. Roosevelt’s words recalled an episode of National Geographic Wild’s Dog Impossible. When attacked by a mean, aggressive bully hound, Pierre a handsome husky, barked back, as though saying, “You’ve got your nerve. You need to take that stupidity somewhere else.” See Pierre in action [Facebook].
Pierre knew a tyrant when he heard-saw one and did not allow oppression. But some don’t recognize browbeaters or second-guess whether they’re being intimidated, in part because there are several types:
- Physical: When someone tries to physically control another person
- Verbal: Name calling and teasing
- Cyber: Hurting others from behind social media screens
- Emotional: Calculated social manipulation that leaves targeted people feeling isolated and alone.
- Prejudicial: Attacking those who look or act different.
- Sexual: Acts that humiliate, shame or physically assault another sexually or their sexuality.
- See More
Why do people bully? VeryWellMind says there are many reasons. Mainly, bullies:
- Feel powerless
- Suffer from insecurity
- Need to control others
- Enjoy the rewards they get from bullying
How can bullies be handled? The eight tips Psychology Today offers include:
- Keep Your Distance and Keep Your Options Open.
- Know Your Fundamental Human Rights.
- Read More.
- See also Health Direct.
BTW, someone may be trying to bully when they say, “Can’t you take a joke?” Read more on jokesters.
As Pierre and Mrs. Roosevelt understood, bullying requires two. The one who bullies and the one who consents to being bullied. In either case, these words of wisdom are worth remembering:
- People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potential, even if you are not. – Wayne Gerard Trotman
- When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did. – Jill Blakeway, The Minds Journal
- People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. – Dan Pearce
- If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more. – Taylor Swift
- What goes around comes back around. – Ancient Proverb
For more on dealing with toxic people, see Succeed and Soar’s August 14 post, “Freer Than Ever Before.”
NOTE: According to Quote Investigator, a century before Mrs. Roosevelt was credited with this post’s featured quote, the American clergyman William Ellery Channing said,
No power in society, no hardship in your condition can depress you, keep you down, in knowledge, power, virtue, influence, but by your own consent.
Succeed and Soar!
